Christian Benteke and Aston Villa, born again at the Stadium of Plight…
Editor’s Note: Guy Bailey writes columns for The Yanks Are Coming throughout the Barclay’s Premier League season. In those columns, he’ll discuss the happenings overseas in the world’s most popular sports league, as well as The Championship, where many Americans ply their trade. Guy offers a unique perspective on the league as a Brit who lived for a long while in the United States before moving back to Teeside a year ago. He can be reached at guyrbailey@gmail.com and you can follow him on Twitter all EPL season at @guyrbailey.
One of my favourite Simpsons episodes is when Homer becomes a Krusty impersonator. One scene came to me this week watching Sunderland’s…I would say implosion but I can’t find the right adjective to describe the events that transpired.
In the episode, Homer is opening a new Krusty Burger when the Krustyburgler sneaks up behind him. He catches him and proceeds to beat him into unconsciousness in front of the horrified crowd of kids, one of them pleading “stop, stop, he’s already dead”. That is what every Sunderland fan, and quite a few Villa fans, would have thought at half time when the score was 0-4 to the visitors. A team that had only scored four times away from home all season had now doubled their tally and in the style of a training match on a Friday where the attack walks through their likely moves with no opposition. By the time the second goal went in after 15 minutes from Christian Benteke, more than a few Sunderland fans walked out, by the third and fourth goals, the trickle became a torrent and the final minutes would have played out to a three figure crowd if it hadn’t been for the jubilant travelling Villa crowd.
Gus Poyet had sat impassively in his dugout once the second goal went in, possibly thinking about how he was going to get to his car safely as security had to intervene to stop several fans entering the coaching area and giving him some forceful and practical directions. The only surprise was that it took until Monday afternoon for him to be given his marching orders and ex-Rangers and Holland manager Dick Advocaat given the eight remaining games to save Sunderland’s season. Desperate times call for desperate measures and winger Adam Johnson, on police bail for alleged sexual indiscretions with a 15-year-old girl has been brought back into the squad following voluntary suspension. The next two fixtures, away to West Ham and home to arch rivals Newcastle United could see a torrent of invective and abuse that would leave Andrew Dice Clay embarrassed.
The day from hell was compounded as Burnley narrowed the gap beneath them to a point and a goal following a deserved if unexpected 1-0 victory over champions Man City. It shouldn’t have been too unexpected as they had already given them the fright of their lives at the Etihad earlier in the season when an injury time equaliser deprived them of a famous 2-1 away win. City could feel hard done by that they didn’t get a last minute penalty but on the balance of play the right result went with George Boyd’s edge of the area crisp half volley. A 45-yard volley from Matt Phillips couldn’t stop QPR going down to a damaging 3-1 defeat at Crystal Palace and Leicester couldn’t find a goal against ten man Hull.
Hull will be relieved to fight another day after weathering Huddlestone’s dismissal.after Tom Huddlestone was dismissed in the second half. The game ended goalless but it’s wins the foxes need at this stage.
Chelsea missed the chance to move eight points clear of Man City drawing 1-1 to tenacious Southampton at the Bridge. Costa continuing his impressive debut season with the opener but Tadic equalized from the spot and they hung on to keep their chase for Europe intact. Spurs arrived at Old Trafford in good shape but left looking more like Rene from Storage Wars as an unconvincing Man Utd rolled back the years to stroll to a 3-0 victory, as routine a one as they have managed under Van Gaal. Rooney flourishing in the central striking role, who knew? and celebrating with the funniest retort this season. The papers led that morning with video footage of Rooney being floored in his kitchen by a friend in a shadow boxing session which went wrong so Rooney started sparring with himself before falling to an invisible hook. The last side chasing the final Champions League place, Liverpool eked out a 1-0 win at Swansea with a fortuitous Jordan Henderson shot which apologetically ended up in the Swans net.
Everton kept up their recent revival with a summary dispatch of a water-treading Newcastle 3-0 who will be missing captain Fabio Coloccini for the Tyne Wear Derby after seeing red for a trip on Aaron Lennon.
But the revival would end quickly in Europe, in a match that capped…
The European exploits of the “greatest league in the world” coming to a crashing halt with Arsenal and Man City being dispatched from the Champions League in successive nights. Arsenal trailed Monaco 3-1 and made a good fist to come back and lead 2-0 on the night but couldn’t get the crucial third in the principality in front of U2 so Wenger still can’t find what he’s looking for (sorry).
Howard’s misery reached crescendo level in Kiev yesterday evening.
Predictably Man City lost 1-0 to Barcelona in the Nou Camp with Joe Hart responsible for a stellar display in keeping the score respectable. Everton were best placed leading Dynamo Kiev 2-1 from the first leg although the idea of a Roberto Martinez team holding anybody to a 0-0 draw in the Ukraine is as fanciful as Vladimir Putin saying he is only joking and returning the eastern half of the country in front of a candid camera audience. So it proved as Kiev ran out 5-2 winners on the night with the goals being a mixture of the sublime to the ridiculous. Tim Howard has grown a Baumgartner beard to look intimidating but when he puts in performances like this he ends up looking like a bumbling sad Bluto. Howard’s miseries reached crescendo level in the Ukraine, with him helplessly watching one goal go in and, thanks to a miserable back four that has failed comprehensively throughout the year, him picking four more out of the back of his net. All told, Everton’s humiliation meant for the second year in three, no EPL team makes the last eight of any European competition.
This weekend’s headline fixtures see Man City trying to squeeze Chelsea with a win at home to West Brom, while Southampton welcome Burnley and can see big things for themselves too. Spurs will try to regain some ground (and their dignity) at home to Leicester while all eyes will be on Anfield on Sunday for the English el clasico as Man Utd go to Liverpool with the stakes raised to a tolerably high level. Of course, Chelsea could be 11 points clear by then if they win at Hull while Everton, who are not entirely out of danger themselves, will be hoping not to kickstart QPR’s miracle escape.
As noted, Guy Bailey writes on the Barclay’s Premier League for The Yanks Are Coming. Want more Guy Bailey? We highly recommend his new book, Blessay From America, a collection of writings on football and life made while living in America, where he married a southern belle and saw his son born, which you can purchase here.