Jonas Gutierrez beat cancer and helped Newcastle beat relegation this past weekend.
Editor’s Notes: Guy Bailey writes columns for The Yanks Are Coming throughout the Barclay’s Premier League season. In those columns, he’ll discuss the happenings overseas in the world’s most popular sports league, as well as The Championship, where many Americans ply their trade. Guy offers a unique perspective on the league as a Brit who lived for a long while in the United States before moving back to Teeside a year ago. He can be reached at guyrbailey@gmail.com and you can follow him on Twitter all EPL season.
This will be the second to last “Whiney Limey” until autumn. There will be one in the aftermath of the FA Cup Final.
So then there were two – Hull City and Newcastle United, one will trudge on to an uncertain future, mocked, ridiculed and shorn of their brightest stars, the other will relegated to the Championship.
All eyes were glued to proceedings at the KC Stadium and St James’ Park as both teams huffed out a 0-0 at HT which would condemn Hull who had to better Newcastle’s result. Hull feeling a little hard done by with two disallowed goals in the first half, although correctly. Second half starts and the first breakthrough goes to the black and whites as Moussa Sissoko, one of the few bankable assets in the Geordies’ locker heads home from a corner. News traveled quickly to Hull where the mood visibly flattened and lip readers mopped their brows as the camera tried to find out reactions that could be broadcast live on national television.
Some hope arrived, briefly, as Marouane Fellaini was sent off for an assault Hannibal Lecter would wince at, putting his studs into the thigh of Paul McShane but the extra man held little advantage; the Tigers continued to huff and puff and not look all that threatening. In fact the only real blow of note they landed in the second half was when Abel Hernandez punched Phil Jones in the stomach at a corner which will get the book thrown at him in a later date. The result became immaterial as cancer survivor Jonas Guiterrez signed off his St James’ career with a long distance second which confirmed that the Tigers would join Burnley and QPR in the second tier and Newcastle a reward for running the club as a shoestring advertising outlet for owner Mike Ashley’s Sports Direct Empire.
Steven Gerrard bid farewell to Liverpool and English football but I bet he couldn’t wait for it to end enough as Liverpool turned in a performance that usually gets managers the sack. 0-5 down at halftime to Stoke City, not Barcelona, which became 1-6 in the second half with the man of the moment finding the net for the last time in his storied career.
Chelsea recovered from going a goal behind to Sunderland to cruise to a 3-1 win and lift the trophy at home while Man City get second and Arsenal third after routine wins at home to Southampton and West Brom respectively. Man United are back in the Champions League with the critical fourth place finish and Spurs get another crack at the Europa League with 5th place along with Liverpool. The final spot (based on wins and losses) will either go to Aston Villa if they can beat Arsenal in the FA Cup final this weekend or it will fall to Southampton for their respectable 7th place finish.
Absent the beloved Carlton Cole, West Ham’s 2015-16 campaign will begin in a month and a half, in the Europa league.
West Ham said goodbye to fan favorite Carlton Cole and not so fan-favorite Sam Allardyce this week although not before also securing Europa League football through the Fair Play league, edging out Everton by two yellow cards, and Dick Advocaat left Sunderland with his stock as high as it was going to get. Steve McLaren will be ruing turning down the Newcastle job as Derby County dispensed with his services 48 hours after the final weekend. Leicester completed their stint as the form team of the league with a 5-1 demolition of QPR who said goodbye to England legend Rio Ferdinand the day after too.
The 20th and final place in the EPL next season will be taken by Norwich City who overcame a talented but curiously anemic Middlesbrough at Wembley in the playoff final, joining Bournemouth and Watford, the former becoming the 48th different team to play in it since it’s formation.
No sooner does the whole circus end this weekend, then the new one will begin with the transfer gossip and fixtures being announced in June. And for West Ham, Europa play, and their season, begins in July.
Say hi to the new boss, same as the old boss.
As noted, Guy Bailey writes on the Barclay’s Premier League for The Yanks Are Coming. Want more Guy Bailey? We highly recommend his new book, Blessay From America, a collection of writings on football and life made while living in America, where he married a southern belle and saw his son born, which you can purchase here.