Barclays Premier League, Featured, November 2014

Whiney Limey: Claret Everywhere, and EURO Thoughts

Toure's misfortune this season have City eight points adrift.

Toure’s misfortune this season have City eight points adrift.

Guy Bailey

Editor’s Note: Guy Bailey writes columns for The Yanks Are Coming throughout the Barclay’s Premier League season. In those columns, he’ll discuss  the happenings overseas in the world’s most popular sports league, as well as The Championship, where many Americans ply their trade. Guy offers a unique perspective on the league as a Brit who lived for a long while in the United States before moving back to Teeside a year ago. He can be reached at guyrbailey@gmail.com and you can follow him on Twitter all EPL season at @guyrbailey.

Two more weeks to catch up on as we turn our eyes to the November international break… here we go.

 Mystic Smeg Strikes Again 6/11/14

How many times do we watch a movie or TV show where an ailing patient makes a miraculous recovery, strolling around like they don’t have a care in the world, everything is sweetness and light again and they and their family can start planning for a great future together.  What happens in the next reel?  

Well Manchester City are that patient.  This week they unconvincingly edged past Manchester United, buying Pellegrini time we think and reassuring everybody that they’ll be back on Chelsea’s heels in short order, especially after brushing past CSKA Moscow on Wednesday in the Champions League as they were doing before they dozed off and threw away a two goal advantage. City arrived with the bulletproof attitude of somebody just out of surgery without understanding that they are at their weakest at that point. The Russians went in front in the second minute and although Yaya Toure equalized with a free kick six minutes later, it was CSKA who went back in front in the 34th minute and didn’t look like surrendering it anytime afterwards. Outpaced, outfought and outthought on all fronts, City did go two ahead after that – in the sending off count with first the enigmatic Fernandinho followed by Toure for a ridiculous WWE choke slam on a player right in front of the referee.  The odds of a January window departure must now be shortening as much as the afternoon sunlight we get since the clocks went back. Pellegrini himself is now looking at two win or bust matches at home to Bayern Munich and away to Roma to get through and it’s debatable whether or not they get parachuted into the Europa League as a consolation prize. Maybe going out and the fewer number of games will allow them to regain impetus in their pursuit of Chelsea but it’s like a divorced 40 something, 30 pounds overweight looking in the mirror and convincing himself he’s still a catch because he still has a car and a home.  It’s the barest requirement.

Liverpool also came unstuck in midweek but this was entirely more predictable and in many quarters a 0-1 defeat to the big white Madrid machine was a creditable result but for Liverpool, when is any defeat credible?  Swiftly following a 0-1 defeat to resurgent Newcastle on Saturday and Brendan Rodgers must welcome Chelsea to Anfield on Sunday with as much enthusiasm as you would your ex-wife with her younger, richer, better endowed lover into your home for Xmas dinner. With things going so swimmingly at Stamford Bridge, Mourinho himself is struggling to find a straw man to rage against and set his teams ire so he turns on the crowd noise after they sneak past local rivals QPR with a late soft penalty. Next he’ll be having a go at the quality of the catering and grammar in the club matchday magazine as they pop off opponents like fish in a barrel.

Victor Wanyama added a goal to go with his defensive prowess two weeks ago as Southampton marched on.

Victor Wanyama added a goal to go with his defensive prowess two weeks ago as Southampton marched on.

West Ham and Southampton remain the unlikely form teams of the division with a creditable 2-2 draw at Mordor (Stoke) after being 0-2 down and the latter enjoying a 1-0 win courtesy of a ridiculous 40 yard chip from Victor Wanyama who looked the most surprised man in the stadium as it dropped beyond the despairing Hull debutant third-choice goalkeeper Eldin Jakupovic.  

An International break occurs next week with England travelling to Slovenia in a routine Euro Qualifier next Saturday before welcoming Scotland to Wembley still as part of the UK the following Wednesday. This columnist notes his presience at singling out the resurgent form of Stewart Downing at West Ham, and doing so in early September, before it was fashionable, as he finds his way back into the England squad along with Michael Carrick from Man Utd and West Brom’s first timer Saido Berahino.  Seeing as this column seemingly has the ear of the England manager I’ll put another shout out for unsung Sunderland workhorse Lee Cattermole, who needs to be in one of these teams sooner rather than later.   Let’s see how far my influence stretches…

 Claret Everywhere 13/11/14

So the final record in British football went on Saturday as the clarets, Burnley FC to you and me, finally became the last senior professional club to win a league match as they overcame a lackluster, well they had to win, hadn’t they?, Hull City. It speaks volumes about the EPL that even though it was their first victory only weeks before Christmas they are only two points off safety as the suddenly plummeting Crystal Palace found themselves edged out at Old Trafford by Man Utd 1-0.  Losing by a single goal at the Theatre of Dreams would normally be an acceptable result but the past two seasons have shown that anything less than an actual point is a disappointment.

Brad Guzan keeps rescuing points for Aston Villa, who can't score.

Brad Guzan keeps rescuing points for Aston Villa, who can’t score.

Leicester dropped into the bottom three for the first time in the season losing to Champions league qualifiers elect Southampton while Aston Villa, so used to looking nervously over their shoulders that looking straight ahead feels unnatural these days held West Ham to a goalless draw, largely thanks to more heroics from their American goalkeeper,  Brad Guzan. How could it be any other kind for a team nearly rechristened Aston Villa Nil? We’re talking about the relegation fight in more detail this week as it’s the only section of the league in any doubt as Chelsea do their very best to replicate Arsenal’s Invincibles going to Anfield and winning 2-1 against Liverpool despite giving their hosts a goal start.  Diego Costa, looking like the tallest member of the Ant Hill Mob, living up to his appearance as a dangerous hitman.

Likeliest challengers Manchester City, and I use the term advisedly as they are eight points adrift already, could only draw 2-2 at QPR and that was with so much assistance from the referee that he would have scored points for a fantasy league team this season. Denying QPR one goal for offside, another for a spurious free kick rule where Joe Hart kicked the ball twice in the box, it’s put past him by Charlie Austin into the net who is off celebrating with his frankly disturbing chicken dance when the ref blows up and refers to the rule that states anywhere else on the pitch it would have been play-on but because it occurred in the penalty area, it had to be taken again.  To add further insult to injury, Sergio Aguero went down the other end of the field, controlled the ball with an exquisite first touch, handled it with his second then put it in the back of the net with his third. Aguero then rescued a late point after De Michelis had put through his own net.

A real footballing encounter took place on Sunday when Swansea took on Arsenal at their own game and won, handily, coming from a goal down to score twice with 15 minutes to go and again highlight Arsenal’s red zone frailty.  We now face another international break which has come at the best/worst time for some teams depending on their circumstances.

England have the aformentioned Euro qualifier with Slovenia on Saturday followed by an arguably more important friendly on Tuesday when they welcome UK brothers Scotland back into the fraternity for the first time since they rejected independence but England’s fans will be too classy to make anything out of it.  Scotland having a huge qualifier of their own on Friday against the Republic of Ireland while Gibraltar travel to World Champions Germany with a simple mission – concede less than seven and perform better than Brazil. No worries.

As noted, Guy Bailey writes on the Barclay’s Premier League for The Yanks Are Coming. Want more Guy Bailey? We highly recommend his new book, Blessay From America, a collection of writings on football and life made while living in America, where he married a southern belle and saw his son born, which you can purchase here.