June 2010

Predictable Predictions: Goals Edition

Hello friends. As we are all aware, the only man that could find the net in Germany was your friend and mine, Clint Dempsey. In this edition of Predictable Predictions, let’s take a look at who may punch the proverbial onion bag more frequently than all other fellow Americans in South Africa.

Let’s start it off with Landon Donovan, who is currently sitting at 7/2. Donovan scored his first international goal in his first international appearance back in October of 2000 against Mexico. Landon happens to be the all time assist and goal leader, not too shabby. He had four goals last year including the Confederations Cup goal against Brazil that had me believing in miracles, albeit temporarily. Despite the 7/2 odds for Donovan, I see him being more of a facilitator in South Africa. I’m guessing Donovan finds the net once, perhaps against Slovenia…in the 1st half…what the hell.

DaMarcus Beasley is at 12/1 odds to lead our boys in goals. I just don’t see it happening for Beasley. To say that he struggled down the stretch for Rangers would be a vast understatement, he flat out didn’t get on the pitch. As a matter of fact, after the conclusion of the Cup, DaMarcus will be looking for a new squad. However, Beas has scored 17 goals in his USMNT career and brings a renewed vigor to the Cup this year after being a question mark for much of the qualifying. With all apologies to DaMarcus, I just don’t see any goals happening for him.

Herculez Gomez’s odds of leading the USMNT in goals is 14/1. I think that he will score, especially if someone can find his head with a nice ball (no homo). He has been scoring regularly south of the border, check the 6:50 mark right up to the end of the video. I know a couple of my friends have already put in their orders for Gomez’s Puebla jersey, risky move…I see myself covering him in my Yanks Abroad column before too long. That is unless/until Mr. Seco pulls the plug on me and my six figure salary demands.

Next up, Jozy Altidore, who finds himself at 7/2 along with Donovan. We all know Jozy can score, and we all know we need Jozy to score. So that begs the question, will he score?  I say yes, why the hell not?  He is big, strong, has 9 goals in 25 international caps and deals a mean headbutt. I foresee a pair of goals for Jozy, with one coming against those limey English bastards [EDITOR’S NOTE: Column was written before Jozy’s injury].

And finally, the most predictable, Clint Dempsey checks in at 4/1. Clearly Duece has got to be the pick to lead the way for the red, white, and blue. I certainly hope that he has plenty of time to work on his stanky leg over the course of the next month and a half. And I will use any excuse to link to this beauty, actually do I even need an excuse?  You should be watching that daily until the 12th. Dempsey is clearly the favorite to lead the US in goals scored, and I’m not going to argue that. I hope that it is exactly how it goes down, providing it is not the only goal we put on the board this time around.

The most predictable prediction of the week however, is that tonight bodog.com has the odds for the American side, and as you can see it is probably a safe bet that; Bedoya (25/1), Ching (13/2), Marshall (33/1), Goodson (33/1), Johnson (6/1), Pearce (50/1), Rogers (16/1), and Kljestan (12/1), will not score. And for goodness sake, lets all hope that the 20/1 odds of the USA not scoring at all is not the big winner. Until next time friends.

P.S. don’t tread.

Dru Boyer is a contributing writer for The Yanks Are Coming. He can be reached at dboyer1122@gmail.com or on Twitter @druboyer.