The first of our entries in the “Find (our editor-in-chief) Dan Seco an EPL side” contest comes from soon to be Gainesville, Florida resident Tim Hayes. Hayes suggests that Dan should choose West Ham United. This type of entry embodies the selfless spirit of the contest, as Hayes, himself a Manchester City fan, makes a passionate and selfless argument with Dan Seco in mind. Here’s his gripping tale in support of the Hammers, and it is a story that should make TYAC senior writer Jon Levy proud.
Dear YAC-
All I know about Mr. Seco is from what I can gather in the picture included in this posting. Obviously, Mr. Seco is quite the fashion connoisseur; Tebow jersey and amazing bucket hat. The clothes, while great, tell nothing about The Man. This is why we must look at the most pertinent item in the photograph, the amazing collection of liquor that is within his arms reach. I haven’t seen that much liquor around a single individual since I was in the Green Room of the Rosemount Horizon with Bruce Dickinson in 1989 on a bender from hell. Mr. Seco seems like a drinking man’s drinker. A man that has seen the floor of subway trains, bus stops and many bar bathrooms in his time. A man like this needs to follow a crappy team with a amazing support. This man needs to sit back and embrace his assumed alcoholism and his undying love for Iron Maiden. Yes, Mr. Seco, you need to be a West Ham United fan. Not because they play great soccer, but because you need to be surrounded by others with incredible fashion sense and an amazing ability to handle their liquor.
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